this morning phil and i were drinking coffee out on the front porch. a toad hopped out into the middle of the front walkway and basked in the sun. we started talking about how a cat would make quick work of the amphibian, and i said i would not be so sure the frog would be easy prey. phil disagreed, so i encouraged him to try to catch the toady to prove his point. he returned with a cardboard box, one i felt was a little too large to be sporting, and started stealthily approaching the hopper from behind. when phil got a closer look at the toad he determined that it was a better idea not to mess with it. i took a gander, and suggested we call it the “war toad” on account of the armor plate-like look of its back and legs.
we were scarcely done with this aborted experiment when a neighborhood dog strolled into the yard on his daily rounds. now we were going to have a test of how quickly the toad moves when it feels threatened. the answer to that question is: LIKE LIGHTNING. the toad charged at us, away from the dog, causing us to both leap from our seats in fear the war toad might have a taste for human flesh. it blazed a path inside the house and hid behind a pair of fins until our friend fernando assured us it was not poisonous and we swept mr. toad out with a broom.