shopping for cars is pretty lame.

i have been driving the same car, a vw golf, for 21 years. last weekend i was driving in the city and the car was having some…difficulties (from what i can guess there is a leak in the intake manifold when the engine heats up that causes her to draw in air and misfire). although i have been my own mechanic for the most part, i don’t have the place or the tools to investigate a possibly cracked manifold. rather than take it in and have it repaired, i started thinking that maybe i should just buy a new car.

looking at new cars is an express elevator ride to the deepest level of lifestyle-branded consumerism hell. especially in california, where so much of a statement is made by the type of car you drive. i could give a fuck, as evidenced by my loyalty to a car that i have no doubt conveys a certain “image”. in my youth, i would have, and did say, yeah get fucked with your opinions of me and my beater, it is the ideal ride for me. people don’t cut me off. i can leave the thing unlocked (although shit occasionally gets ripped off from INSIDE the car). sometimes i push a shopping cart at high velocity into the old golf when i am bored in a parking lot. this will all be a thing of the past if i get a new car. i am being led to believe that a new car will really “say something” about me. i am wondering if i have to take these considerations into account.

there is advice that comes along with the search. “you will, 100%, NEVER get laid in that car”. “dude, that’s not a 40 year old’s car”. “dependable and low maintance is NOT sexy” etc. all the “lifestyle” associations that i have managed to avoid over 21 years of the same old. the truth of the matter is that i am finding it hard to justify buying a splendiferous piece of german engineering that i have a feeling is going to spend a lot of quality time looking good next to the concrete pillars in my garage. i don’t commute. i’m not a huge fan of just cruising around (although i have to allow that i might be more inclined to with a new car).

i have been to the bmw dealer, the vw dealer, honda dealer, have ruled out the volvo dealer completely, and today i drove around a toyota. another stressful issue: i think i want a station wagon, although i am not certain about that. i think that’s the utility that i want. but why the hell am i getting a “dad” car, as a wagon apparently screams family car, when i don’t even have a girlfriend? (i just want a vehicle that will transport my massive guitar amp to my non-existent gigs!) if i don’t pick the right one, according to several people i know, i will *never* have sex again. this is the type of peer pressure to drive a “cool car” that i have avoided for a very long time, and honestly it is a little confusing. i am pretty sure i still don’t give a shit, but i listen to the opinions of others a bit more now, and i may live with any decision i make for a very long time if my history is a guide. right now i am inclined to procrastinate. point a to point b.
the toyota matrix has a 115 volt power plug. today i almost wrote a check to just be done with it, plug in a blender, and cruise down the highway to hell. luckily phil was there to drag me out before i had a chance to hit my back pocket for the checkbook. the drinkholders in the back seat were a little flimsy too.
test driving a car






5 responses to “shopping for cars is pretty lame.”

  1. lou Avatar

    I drive a Subaru Outback, the ultimate lesbian ride. i bought it before i had a kid, when i wanted to truck panels from The House of Hardwood to my house to build furniture. i bought it because i didn’t want to have to worry about it. i still don’t. get what you like and what you need, life’s too short to worry about what other people think.

  2. Bret Avatar

    Lou, are you listening to Melissa Etheridge again?

  3. gimaha Avatar

    I’ll make you a deal on a Passat. High tech engineering: The sunroof manages to take rain and transport it to the rear passenger floor of the car! Tricky! New transmission box, new carpets, clean pollen filters, new computer wires. You’ll enjoy lots of down time with this car as the local dealership will want to keep it for a month or so for repairs………What’ill you offer?

  4. b Avatar

    Look, my generosity is going to run out soon, so you’d best take advantage of this… You make me any reasonable offer and that purely-tasteful, 1984 Honda Interceptor is all yours. 100% classic, historic, fired-up, road-racing sport bike.

    (in case you haven’t looked under the cover lately – pics taken 10′ from where it sits in your garage).

  5. Ru Avatar

    nothing says sensible, practical, and fuckable like a hydrogen cell…not yet, but hybrids are hot. me: what i drive for sex is a buggatti. cars..the rich man’s ‘jordans’.

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