saturday morning!

almost every saturday morning for the last year or so i have been awakened around eight a.m. (i believe they set the alarm) by the sound of my neighbor and his fianc?© fucking the bejesus out of each other. this is no ordinary lovemaking, more like two people beating the living christ out of a mattress and headboard, and any other furniture they can drag onto the battlefield. maybe he has some trouble finishing the job, because sometimes it sounds like there might be urgency and straining involved. imagine, if you will, the jolly green giant dribbling a 250 lb basketball on a mattress at ever-increasing rates of speed, combined with the sound of elvis laboring away at his final stool. i’m not really annoyed by this carnal reveille, (maybe slightly bummed i am not returning the favor) and i can’t say i blame them, they are both quite attractive and athletic, but i am somewhat curious to know why i only hear them on or around 8 a.m. saturday mornings. is this bed-shredding a scheduled event in their calendars, as it has, involuntarily, become part of the errmm, rhythm of my week?
maybe some day soon, they’ll get so carried away that when their heads break through my wall, i will be able to introduce myself, and ask.






5 responses to “saturday morning!”

  1. justin Avatar

    Hah! The Jolly Green Giant and Elvis! Hah! This is great shit – I’ve had a few moments where I’ve been with partners and this sort of sound comes out of us and I feel embarassed but then I wonder, most people know what this sound is, right? Is this different or worse than loud music? More mentally invasive perhaps – more inspiring of musings, like this one. I guess in our society it’s good behavior to keep your sounds to yourself. But then we wouldn’t have had this piece of writing! Imagine, if you will:

  2. bret Avatar

    Go to the iTunes store and get Sweet’s “Ballroom Blitz”. Set the computer to play it every Saturday at 7:59 on loop.

  3. gimaha Avatar

    some questions are best unasked

  4. Mr Ken Avatar

    Have you checked out the TV listings for your zip code? Take a peek at what shows start & end @ 9:aam Saturdays. Maybe your answer lies there. (Hint: press your ear to the wall at 8:59 & listen for the Battlestar Glactica theme song. Erin Gray was hot.) Biddy Biddy, Ken

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