anti-relationship bachelor

today, i got accused of being anti-relationship. well, it’s actually not the first time this has come up, but i figured that after the triple latte that i had this afternoon, i am ready to take this one on. actually, i’ll take it on after i get back from trader joe’s.
ok i got back from the joe’s and made dinner and went to sleep and woke up and now i have to go to work. that triple latte yesterday kicked my ass, it felt like being on the tailend of a massive coke binge, without any of the associated euphoria. luckily, it went away. and, unlike coke, i did not feel like doing up another triple latte to stave off the imminent end of the buzz. i think the effects had something to do with low blood sugar, because after i ate i felt worlds better.

ok, i don’t have time to get into this right now, but here’s a fairly succinct version of my “anti-relationship” stance. i am not a believer in the primacy of a “relationship” in the overall makeup of a person’s happiness. having a relationship does not necessarily contribute to a person’s happiness any more than a whole number of other aspects in a person’s life. and it contributes nothing, or detracts from, a life that is otherwise out of balance.
here’s where the anti comes in, and having been there myself, i know something of what i am talking about. there is a tendency to allow yourself to feel miserable about not being in a relationship. or not being able to make an otherwise fatally flawed one work. or in staying in a relationship because it is noble to work on it, because relationships are “hard work”.
i am also accused of being “hard-hearted”, usually when i say stuff like, “get over it, there are plenty of other tasty (chicks or dudes) out there, and you’ll find someone you get along with”. this comes from going through several breakups where the world was probably going to come to an end, and i was never going to be involved with anyone again, and i was doomed to an eternity of miserableness. none of these things in fact occurred.
one last note: i am pretty sure that the term “soulmate” is a creation of the same people who came up with the “three months salary guideline”, or some other fucker who wants me to feel that it’s not authentic love if i don’t invest everything i have spiritually and financially in binding myself to life with someone else. OR ELSE.

ok that wasn’t the most eloquent or concise treatise on love, maybe i’ll try again sometime. now i’m late for work.

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6 responses to “anti-relationship bachelor”

  1. bret Avatar

    ever notice how people that talk about “soulmates” usually have 3 or 4 of them a year?

  2.  Avatar

    lets start talking about “soulmates”

  3.  Avatar

    who would accuse you of such malarky, eh?

  4. Carbon15 Avatar

    I think it boils down to 2 things, well 1 really; what do you want out of life and will a relationship help bring that objective closer. It has everything to do with that first question to ask yourself and the second thing is just about if a relationship will get you where you want to be in life or is education and career and $$$ more of a focus. You can still be very social and have anti-relationship friends with benefits if you come across someone like minded. If its a child your after then i say listen to Henry Fords advice and get ready; “Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success.”
    Some things you have to know is that some girls like to play with boys like toys and brag about us so just have as much caution as you would respect, girls are slippery when wet!

  5. Carbon15 Avatar

    If soul mates means two people who have mutual love at first I don’t believe in that, usually it means one or the other settles in some form and death til you part is for my grandparents generation. like half of the mirages today are good for 20 years maby! true love and relationships are laughable with the rates of divorce today, i say you can still have fun just find other girls who are also anti relationship but still whorny; the more hands you shake.. As they say… just wash your hands because some people are dirty.

    The way I look at it is if I need a relationship to stay in my right mind and achieve my goals in life, get where I want to be then I know what to do.. Otherwise I need to focus on getting on my feet and learning about how to soak up as much capitol as possible to maby raise kids when the time comes, and adoption or sperm banks are an option if you really don’t want a relationship just have so many friends to spend time with LMFAO

    Life is a huge amount of time and energy, relationships consume massive amounts of bouth and it turns out time really is money and when you boil it down to a bot pan you find relationships consume alot of money and more and more when you factor in bringing a life into this world much less sharing the rest of your with.. hopefully the right someone… I say do yourself and if things fall into place they do, but be anti-relationship is healthy I’ve met girls who think relationships wont get them where they want to be in life; really sweet girls, had me wondering if their was really a name for what I had been like for all these years. I’m no misogynist I love women It’s just I’ve learned so much about them not even having been in a relationship, I personally don’t want to be in one until I’m ready and believe any girl would want the same; about a 75%/75%, nothing down the middle or one sided but supportive none the less. I believe while I’m young it’s best to learn how to make as much money as possible because that takes away a lot of life’s problems down the road, If you think 6 years bad luck after breaking a mirror is big $h*t how about breaking a condom! Don’t be paranoid be prepared!

  6. Carbon15 Avatar

    Even best case scenario like my grandparents, happily ever after means one of you lives to see the other die and then slowly die of a broken heart after 60 years or more of good times.. Those are soul mates and I still believe in them. Love is magical, you just have to believe.. the odds of 2 people believing at the same time grows better with friendship and I heard somewhere relationships are really just friendships on fire.

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